Today I invite you to take a walk with me.
I'm going to tell you something important, and I enjoy your company.
That's why I want to talk to you.
First of all, I want to disclose about a regret I've always had in my heart. It's for my ex-friend, Lorion Tucker.
Lorion is a beautiful woman in her sixties whom I met at work when I was a resident.
She had a funny energy about her, it's hard to explain, a sort of nervous and like a puppy who had been treated mean and without kindness, or at least couldn't guess what mood was coming from its owner next.
At first as an anesthesia tech she made many mistakes. But she learned and got to be one of the best in the department. I could count on her when the patient was going bad, to be a genuine asset on the team.
Her father died, and she wanted to buy the house she grew up in. She used to have a home in the area, an apartment. But she bought the home out of the area, and moved away, and got a new job.
Well, the new job was terrible. They wanted people who didn't have medical training to do medical things, and she wouldn't. She knew the patients would have a bad outcome.
She wanted her old job back.
I helped her find a new one as a receptionist and scheduler for the O.R.
It was nights.
Although it was only part time, she needed a place to stay during the days, so she asked me if she could sleep at my house.
We weren't really that close.
But Anthony's preschool was near my work, and Lorion would be going off shift, would she mind taking him to school? I asked for this once he was two. Until then--all I asked for was fifty dollars a month for eight days a week to sleep at my house.
It was a trade.
It went on for about five years. (the last year, Anthony was in a different school because I had changed jobs, and it was painful not to be at my old place).
We were tiptoeing around the house, me telling Anthony the high energy toddler to be quiet so Lori could sleep.
I just couldn't take it any more.
I told her find someplace else, and changed the locks.
I ignored her every phone call until she went away.
She moved away to Tennessee, and tried to contact me.
I didn't respond.
The horrors of having someone in my house that wouldn't go away far surpassed all the good intentions I had to be a good Christian in this situation.
My mother coached me through the whole thing; she said Lori was taking advantage of me, and I needed to be firm.
So I was.
I enjoyed the friendship.
I didn't mourn it when it was gone, but I felt guilt.
I felt guilty because poor Lori had five miscarriages, and had given up on ever being a mom. Her husband Virgil was very kind. I liked him.
We were her 'family' to her. She always remembered us with gifts and cards. She was thoughtful.
We used to talk before she'd get ready for bed.
She had recovered from alcoholism.
For many years she was drunk and slept around. She said sometimes she would meet a man in her daily activities and he would have this look. She wouldn't remember who he was, be she could tell by the look she had slept with him.
It was sad.
She went back to her church--the kind where every member is expected to tithe--and made a full recovery and found her husband. He asked her to marry him three times, she said no each time, but on the last changed her mind and married him.
Virgil was good to her.
Her father wasn't.
Orion was her namesake, her father, who was the son of an astronomy professor. Hence the name, Orion. He created Lori's name, Lorion (LOR-ee-ON).
Her father was a very high-ranking member of the same church -- the one where every member is expected to tithe.
Her father molested her almost every day.
And he acted like nothing happened.
He still held his high position in the church.
She never saw justice to him in her life, although at the end, he took good care of her mother as she was dying, then his second wife took good care of him--so Lori didn't have to--when it was his own 'end of life'.
Lori didn't even get the inheritance she deserved due to her father's spending.
She had a brother, Craig. His birthday wasn't long ago, oddly enough, I'm his Facebook friend still.
I wonder what the dad did to him?
Lorion's birthday is at the beginning of September.
She loves this time of year when the orb weaver spiders come out and make the beautiful webs.
I'll always be sad about my inability to create healthy boundaries, and to read the situation for what it was.
She was trying to convert me to her religion, slowly. She invited me to special luncheon fundraisers. She thought I would get a nice husband if I joined her church...
I didn't have a clue the whole time.
I just felt like I was giving and giving and poor Anthony never had the joy of freedom in his childhood.
This is the part where you might wish to excuse yourself for a bit.
I've known other people who went through worse than Lori.
For some reason, they confided in me, and I believed them.
One was a nurse, an excellent nurse, who had an owlish look in her eyes and was very heavy set and tall. I had known her for two years, working side by side with her when my patients were on the telemetry unit.
She told me that her parents had been in a cult, and she had been used as a breeder. She had DID (dissocative identity disorder--like the old term, multiple personality disorder) and had healed. She wanted to be a counselor to help others, and was getting her doctor in divinity degree too.
I thanked her for her trust in me, and I told her she would be very good at her dream, and help many people, and that I would pray for her.
She did it.
I've seen her website. No mention of her 'specialty' aside from her being a counselor.
Her heart spoke to mine--while she was telling me her very sad, tragic experience--and I responded with my own heart in return. I knew she was testing me, and her survival and success depended on it.
Did I want to know? Not really. Was it hard to work with her afterwards now I knew her truth? Yes. But I tried my best not to let it affect our professional relationship. I counted with her excitement the time to pass until she graduated, which was close.
I have spent the past three days doing research, in particular, reading the works written by a former 'trainer'--Svali. I think it's a pseudonym for 'Svengali'. She was born to a high-ranking mother in the cult, who was 'very ambitious'.
No one has heard from Svali since 2008.
It is because of her heart that I write, out of respect for her courage and bravery, to listen to her heart and write about things she had been under threat of death if she ever would tell. She knew she would die a 'traitor's death'...but she wrote.
I have come to the conclusion that trauma-based programming breaks the mind, and shatters it into thousands of alters and many core-splits--but the HEART is always present, and the HEART cannot be broken.
If you are a survivor of intergenerational ritual abuse--please listen, as I open my heart to yours, and speak.
You are LOVED.
You are LOVABLE.
You are valued by Creator of All That Is
You can heal--if you want to
All is forgiven.
There is no shame.
Gaia is calling -- it's time to come home.
For all of you beautiful boys and girls out there who have suffered horrors beyond description, beyond the imagination, just like Svali--from this day forward, a butterfly is just that and nothing more.
You are SAFE.
No one will hurt you.
All of your brothers and sisters are very glad you have made the choice to heal and come home.
Earth has her own magic too.
And you will discover it, along with everyone else who is incarnate upon her at this time.
It is faerie magic--it sparkles and delights the soul!--and will always put a smile in your heart.
It's not broken.
No matter what was put through in your past--no matter how your mind adapted to help you survive--you are still a beautiful child of Creator--both Divine Mother and Divine Father--who love you too with all of THEIR hearts.
We are made in Divine Perfection.
We are children of the Divine Creator of All That Is.
Our souls have been placed into bodies which, although they don't last forever, are both beautiful and perfect in design.
I should know, I am a healer, and I have trained long and hard to be able to work with them.
From here on out, I will confer upon you the role as 'teacher'--for your lives have given us valuable lessons--especially those who have had lives more like Lorion's or Nancy, the RN...with suffering and sorrow and pain as 'the norm'.
There are beings 'out there' who aren't like us. Not in the mind, not in the heart.
They take planets and destroy both them and their people, then move on to the next one.
Planets are not disposable commodities! They are living, breathing, conscious beings!
Anyhow for the sake of discussion, these 'beings' came to Gaia, and for some reason, they decided to 'improve' upon Divine Creator's creation!
This alone in itself is ludicrous!
However, these 'beings' began a cult way back back back in Biblical times--to Baal--or older I suppose, and went WAY underground.
It is a blood cult. With blood and trauma being the 'spiritual' part, using humans as commodities, and imprinting on the minds of the young their agenda.
It turns out the major work must be done before the child is eight--after that the brain won't learn to dissociate.
There are many 'tests' to pass.
The themes are 'trust no one' and betrayal is 'normal' and 'healthy' and 'encouraged' in this cult.
The babies are given the penis just as often as the breast and can't tell the difference between semen and mother's milk.
Two year olds are taught to kill kittens.
How is this done?
You put them in a cage and shock them with electricity.
You give them a kitten and tell them to wring it's neck.
The child cries and says no.
Then you shock them so much more they can't even cry, they are so dazed.
And then you tell them to wring the kitten's neck, and they do. Then they leave the cage and throw up they are so traumatized by what they did.
They work their way up to bigger animals.
They are taught military moves and gun use as they grow, becoming expert marksmen and militants by their teen years.
The shocks are given with medical equipment, with needles inserted into nerves and jammed under fingernails.
Children are taken near death, and resuscitated with standard medical equipment. Some don't make it. Some die. Some are vegetables. Some just won't stop screaming. And they have to be 'put down' with a huge bolus of air in the i.v., or 'lots of insulin' according to Svali, the trainer, who deeply repents her work.
Like the others, Svali was encouraged to do these things, and also did them to avoid further punishment and beatings--for 'failure' isn't an option in this cult.
When Svali left the 'family' (how the cult calls itself) she got phone calls and letters and contact from everyone she had ever known--all trying to trigger her mind programming to get her to come back.
There is even suicide programming in there--'I would rather die than leave the family'.
She healed from all that. No specialist in 'deprogramming' could help her because she was so very high level--a trainer herself--and it was out of their experience as most were lower level survivors. So Svali did it all herself.
She also says that every 'subject' at some point tries to kill their trainer. That's why the 'halt' codes are programmed in, so the trainer can stop the attack.
She says that children cry out to God for mercy during the tests.
Many have seen angels.
This alone shows that no matter how deep the darkness--souls even in mortal pain--cry out to Creator!
The ILLUSION is false, and Creator and Heaven are REAL.
A child with such parents will be shown an orange.
The parents will ask, what is this?
The two year old says, 'an orange' with pride and wanting to please.
The parents beat it severely.
They hold up the fruit again. What is it?
An orange only results in more beatings.
The beatings stop when the child says, 'an apple'.
This is how cruel and against Divine Law of Free Will the cult is--to teach the child not to think for themselves and trust their own senses--but to ASK for the adults to tell them 'black is white' and teach them this is so.
(The other strange thing Svali noted, is that pediatric alters take pediatric doses of drugs, and an adult dose on board from a prior alter will overdose the pediatric one--and she would need to give the antidote in a hurry to correct it).
The worst ones have chosen to merge with Divine Mother and the Galactic Central Sun, instead of going through the rigorous healing process.
These are the souls who aren't quiet 'human' who have been here, as well as the 'human' ones who are deeply invested into the cult.
For those of you in the middle--caught up in the ladder of 'success' the cult gives like a wheel in a hamster's cage--you may step off.
Gaia invites you to come home and heal.
All of the old behaviors must stop--no more hurting of the innocent.
From this day out everyone has their Free Will, and no one can infringe upon it.
Just for today, love Reigns supreme.
And since time is an Illusion--we have entered the era where 'angels are normal' and 'love reigns supreme'.
So, you may ask, 'how did you figure all this stuff out?'
I was one. In an immediate past life. I remember the praise and the gifts.
I was one enough to wonder why Selena would sing 'I'm 24 Karat' and Rihanna would sing 'Shine Bright Like a Diamond'--it seemed like that meant something more, and it does. There's programming with those themes.
And also I trust my soul to guide me.
Here's some things to share:
- This interview by Prince--'feels bad for the earth' and 'defends his dad' caught my attention
- Excellent workup of Nicky Hilton and the cult
- The page in the Nicky Hilton that caught my eye
- All the work by Svali to date. Even the questions are rich with information.
- Her suite 101 doesn't exist any more--her hyperlink
- This blog from 2008 says she is alive
- This Gaia Portal came out after I read Svali's work
- This article links childhood trauma to medical problems later in life
- This message from the Council is also timely, and supportive
What is my takeaway on this?
Creator of all that is is REAL.
Creator forgives EVERYTHING.
Souls can experience the worst of the worst, and still cry out to Creator.
It was a horrible time--when those 'builders' were in charge.
The 8/8 gate and the full moon are blowing this thing wide open.
The dark ones with their 8/whatever 'group meditation' are totally lying and trying to get us not to notice it's already upon us.
People are good, and no matter what the mid-level people pull on the rest of the ninety-nine percent --from their fear--the ninety-nine percent although asleep, have healthy consciences, and will step up to the plate when everything comes down.
What Ross said about the Stockholm effect being real, is wise...and I sure love him!!!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
P.S. I invite you to turn off the music and the television. With the TV you go into an alpha state and are highly suggestible to their programming. Your