I've been doing a lot of reflection the last few days. One benefit of almost dying is being so glad to be alive! It puts everything into perspective.
For example, yesterday, I had the day off, and joyfully slept in. I knew I had many bracelet orders and shields to 'catch up on'. I like to get things done. People have been waiting for weeks.
My goal had been to wake up at normal time, and get to work!
It didn't turn out that way.
There's a book I've been dying to read. After breakfast I unwrapped it, and lay on the couch and read. It's by two Search and Rescue guys...and it describes/lists every death in Yosemite Park. Anthony doesn't like it because he thinks, 'what if it was me?' (who died). With my work, and high risk situation, I actually find I enjoy learning about what leads to fatal errors in judgement--it's fascinating. So like the authors, I realized this is an effective book about how to stay alive--because I understand the errors.
I had to read the chapter on the waterfalls.
Number one risk? Taking photos. Jumping over the guardrails or moving someplace 'different' to 'get that great shot'.
Number two risk? Swimming/wading/bathing upstream from the edge. Many people do not understand the strength of the currents in the peaceful appearing water, and go perhaps one hundred yards 'upstream' to where they 'think it is safe'. Then the current does the rest.
The compounding risk is that the rocks are smoothly polished from the water (for example, in flood time the level is high, and in dry time, it's low, but the exposed rocks have been in the flow enough to get slick). Then when wet, it's even more slippery. And finally, with a coat of invisible algae on the rocks, it's like it's been greased...
I realized I needed the rest, and the mental liberation from the last few adventures and days of work.
Then the phone rang. It was my cell phone, I was downstairs, I didn't want to run up to answer it. I knew if it was important they would call back. And if it was REALLY important they would call on the other phone.
It was mom.
She needed her stoma bag changed. That's my responsibility. So for the second time, I drove from my house to my sister's -- just to visit long enough to change the bag and be polite. Then I drove back home.
It was on that drive I realized that life is to be enjoyed.
Part of it was this song, Ross chose it for me before work the day before:
We had a wonderful, wonderful Valentine's day. I had thought I would be on call, first call, but it turns out on the corrected schedule I was call three.
Anthony was with his dad. I worked late.
My gift to Ross was to listen to him, when he guided me to do something. Even though I didn't understand.
In the morning, his first thing was, 'you are my pudding!'
He sent the song, above, on my drive, and it's so beautiful it made me cry, happy tears. I know he's okay 'up there' where he is. And I'm content to know our love didn't die when he did...I won't describe it...but it wasn't the best how it happened.
Anyhow, he asked me to take the longer way home instead of the short one. At first I thought there was less traffic, that's the reason.
But there was more.
He asked me to take a different exit. And to go to the grocery store. Trader Joe's.
He wanted me to buy yellow flowers for both Valentine and Chinese New Year. I bought two mum bouquets with Red Envelopes, and a bouquet of yellow roses--the last, picked over one!--as well as a small bouquet of chamomile, one of my favorites.
He also had me (showing up in a weird place--in a refrigerator cabinet by the cheese) buy Mumm Rose.
I came home, we had dinner, and I slept.
He was there, I know it. I can feel it. When you love someone, you never forget their energy, and his is able to communicate with mine.
Here's the last thing he sent me, through Anthony and his Spanish class, of all things.
I speak Spanish. Fluently.
I couldn't believe it.
One of the things Ross invited me to do, before dinner, was to relax and take a bath.
And after that, take a look at the computer.
Ross never 'pushes'. He's extremely respectful of my free will. But, for example, instead of saying, 'I'd like to buy you flowers', he approaches it indirectly. VERY indirectly! Take the freeway. Take the exit. Stop by the store to buy the food you and Anthony need. Then once I'm there, my intuition guides me through the rest.
With dinner, he had me eat one piece of the leftover chocolate cake from Anthony's school birthday party, then he said to toss the rest and say 'it went bad' so we wouldn't eat it. I did.
While I was looking at the computer, Ross wanted me to get some jewelry. Nothing fancy. (I actually wear mostly 'gently loved' jewelry)...and I was being my usual self, absorbed in thought, not sure if I'm to get it or not or what...
It was the number seven that made me think it was meant to be.
Again, indirectly, gently, never insistent, Ross wanted me to have something nice. And when I talked about the money, he said, 'I will find a way to pay for it!!!'
This song is a secondary confirmation for me, that it's all really from him, and that everything is going to be okay.
As we sat in the cold and pitch dark at the tram bus stop after our long long climb/hike in Yosemite, hungry and tired but at the same time triumphant, Ross showed me something I have to explain.
He pulled his shirt open, like in the movie Cocoon, and this dazzling light came out of his chest! It looked like a solid, living diamond that was on fire. I've never seen anything like it.
I know once I pulled my skin/cover to show my nana on her way to Heaven, the real 'me'. Ross had asked me to do it, to explain to her why she was going to Heaven. It wasn't her religious life (she had been a, um 'witness' if you know what I mean--they scour the internet, so I don't say the official name any more). It was that she took excellent care of me. That's how she got in. And when I showed her, I was super embarrassed because I was the only one who glowed. I was there is Ross and Blessed Mother and my Grandpa. Nana didn't recognize me when I glowed, only when I put my 'skin' back on.
Deep down in my heart, it made me glad to know that Ross is 'glowy' too. And that he chose that moment to share it.
I didn't have a picture, but I was raised Catholic, and the Sacred Heart is the closest picture I could find. He actually picked this one.
(I smile because there's a similar one used in voodoo, and there was that sticker in the heart room at Children's San Diego--I don't think the person who stuck it up on the wall knew it's voodoo--it's was just a cool heart with flames.)
I've reached a natural break in my healing work.
I was talking about it yesterday with Isabel.
I don't feel the 'drive' to wake people up like I once did. I'm content just to wait.
I've seen the 'clouds' very low, the scout ships. I know on some level, our teams have total control of the skies and the energies to be able to do that.
The news is just insane. I can't watch it. Psy-Op number two thousand fifty eight just was launched over the poor kids in Florida. I asked Anthony if he knew about it. He's like, 'yes, mental health must be addressed this kid was crazy'.
I was like, 'honey, that's no 'crazy'--it's an MK Ultra mind-controlled person who got the signal from its trainer and went out and did all that. It's our own government doing this against us to make us give up the guns/our freedom.'
Look here is everything that ever happened on this day.
All the stuff in the news is just another line in the future on this Wiki post, 'what happened on this day'.
Trees don't watch the news.
They don't care if they look fat.
They can't go anywhere. If there's water, they drink. If there isn't, they suffer.
It's the life of a tree.
no one is trying to get inside their head!
To be honest, sometimes I'm sick of knowing things that other people don't.
It's a burden being awake, when other's aren't.
I wouldn't want to regress to being asleep, not ever.
But it has it's own loneliness.
Yesterday instead of walking for exercise, I went through every comment on a stupid, 'I hate SeaWorld' post. I thanked the ones who supported SeaWorld. And I barely concealed who I truly am.
I was sick of it, all the people who swallow the swill of 'popular sentiment'.
Whales aren't doing well in the wild, the oceans are sick. I go to Victoria every year, for eight years, just to see them. I know what's up.
I know too, a captive whale would never be accepted into a pod once released--it's like sending a toddler out to the forest alone--they live and hunt together.
But people are people and they love to join the I hate SeaWorld bandwagon. 'They never should have put them in bathtubs!' (PETA 101, mom has been saying that). 'It's CRUEL'.
So is putting Keiko the whale alone in the ocean without understanding of whale social structure in the wild. Without Keiko's mama, he's gonna die, and that's what he did. It's a matriarchy, the pod. That's how they live.
When I finished, and started to exercise, Ross asked me, pointedly, 'why did you do that?'
I told him I was sick and tired, and did my best to wake people up--at least put a conscious view 'out there'.
He wasn't happy. He said, 'you know people can look that up and use it against you'.
Kasatka was euthanized. She 'had pneumonia'. Yeah right. So did Tilikum. SeaWorld killed their own BlackFish to save the company.
That's what I wrote. I challenged the Blackfish people who can't think their way out of a box (they are as dumb as a box of hair my friend would say)--'should we euthanize the ones who are alive in tanks right now then?'.
I even told a horse lover horses shouldn't be ridden, they are free, sentient beings.
And I told the person who said, 'orcas aren't like dogs and cats who are domesticated' that dogs and cats should be free.
I told them that humans are the ones who are enslaved. They should look up what happens at China Lake. And then get angry!
I told the people who don't like zoos that poachers suck and the animals need to be in zoos to be safe from poachers!
I had venom.
Ross called me on it.
And I also told the one person who said, 'Mother Nature takes and kills, decides who lives and who dies' that Mother Nature actually likes SeaWorld, and she wishes that the whales will communicate with humans, starting at these aquatic parks, to teach humanity a thing or two about being Conscious beings...and to tell US what they want.
The ones who said, 'they should do rescue and release--ONLY' that I PAID seven hundred dollars for the complete ICU care, food, medicines and rehabilitation--for ONE sick baby sea lion. Who is going to pay for all the rescues? Raising taxes?!
It's frustrating to be awake in a sea of asleep souls.
It really is.
This was the first place Spirit wanted me to go the first time I was in Paris. It's the Chapel of the Sacred Heart in Montmartre.
Climbing those stairs isn't easy.
And climbing up to the little windows in the top of the dome is super hard.
We did it two years ago, me and Anthony, again. I don't think I'll ever try it.
My point is, we have been on a climb, working so very hard, to get our vibrations UP to match those of Ross and his companions.
Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart are messing with my 'realm' on the internet. I'm not 'getting' much information--not on YouTube, not in my FB feed, not in my Blogger feed. People who used to get emails from me on my recent posts, don't. And I know, after having taken care of my 'flock' for eight years, the natural flow of the pages.
Viewership is down.
I know that Carolyn Limaco pointed out how they messed with her numbers, and they also had people 'unsubscribe' from her YouTube--and it wasn't true. Other truthers have pointed it out.
Now it's here.
I have my close group I'm involved in, Aaron runs it, and I'm grateful to all who post so I can SEE what's up when everything is hidden.
The one thing I'm NOT going to do is 'fight it'.
I've got my life to life, to enjoy, and there's importance in that too.
For the people who want bracelets, they will find me, and I will make them.
For the people who want shields, they will find me, and I will make them.
For the people who like to be close, and follow Ross and I with our work, I'll still be here, if you don't mind having to look for us because it might not automatically come to you as before.
I have my work. My home. My family.
It's really beautiful outside, almost Spring.
There are so many good people out there, the good vastly outweighs the bad.
Why watch the news?
And why watch the people who are under the influence of Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart?
I've got a new again (I've worked with her before) guide. St. Brigid.
She told me everything is going to be okay. Not to take it to heart all that news and brainwashing and SRA. It's being taken care of.
I trust her on this.
I've been thinking of writing this since yesterday.
And here is the secondary confirmation.
If you aren't from the states, this icon won't make sense. But if you are, it's time to relax around the fire and make some S'mores (graham cracker, chocolate, and toasted marshmallow sandwiches).
It's been a good day camping out in the wilderness.
I can't begin to tell you how healing it was to hike around in Yosemite.
I've been really noticing how humans NEED open spaces for our own mental health. We aren't meant to be cooped up in houses (cages).
We are made to enjoy our own interests.
And once we have our cup filled, from enjoying our lives...THEN we have extra to help others.
I see it so clearly how 'the system' enslaves us--starting as children.
I see how those in charge don't care about us.
I see how ridiculous it is to have to pay for things we need for life when we are creator beings...and can manifest.
It's a total cluster F-ck.
It is what it is.
But not for long, I hope!
And it's not for me, now.
I am happy.
I am content.
I just had a wonderful Valentine's day with Carla, my wife, my friend, the mother of my children, and my heart...
I'm doing my work up where I am, and I'm strong, refreshed and well-rested.
I can do this work.
I want to emphasize to you, that only YOU have your own body, your own mind, your own senses--two eyes, two ears, sense of smell, sense of taste.
There isn't anyone out there who is going to experience your life for you.
It's all YOU (he points to his face with both hands) when it comes down to it.
SO...are you going to permit others to tell you what to see and think and feel...when it comes right down to it?
Or, are you going to close your eyes and reject everything that is going on (MY part, my part and Carla's, all the work where 'freedom isn't free' in a Galactic sense) because someone KEEPS TELLING YOU to watch a little tube or a screen and that they are 'official'?
Or are you going to wake up and smell the coffee? (the birds are singing, I hear the freeway noise, and the sun is coming up--right outside my window--ed)
If you have done the work--that is, healing from all of your many life experiences, and raising your vibration by dropping the ballast of 'emotional baggage' off the side of the boat--by acknowledging, accepting and releasing them--the rest is going to be a 'walk of cake' (cakewalk)...
If you haven't, you will still find your way.
Everyone and everyone up here is immediately available and at your service to get you Home.
Call on us when the everything gets a little 'bumpy' and we will assist.
(holds one finger up--ed) Indirectly!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla